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He’s like a lunatic teddy bear you just want to hug. And he makes us feel that we too could be good cooks, even though we don’t have French accents or perfect kitchen skills. I trust him, he’s not putting on an act, he’s just being himself, burps and all. He yells a lot, he drops a ton of f-bombs, he goes on tangents, he picks his ear while he’s cooking. I can’t put my finger on why he’s so strangely captivating and comforting. When Matty loses his mind while waiting for his chorizo lasagna to bake, you feel like you’re just hanging with your funniest friend in his kitchen. It leaves in mistakes, curse words, messes, and in general pulls back the curtain on what goes into that kind of show. His show is kind of the anti-cooking show. EMILY AND MTTY TUZINSKY HOW TOMatty has a way of hitting the perfect balance of being hilarious while also teaching you how to cook a legit delicious meal. WTF? I went to his YouTube channel and proceeded to watch almost all of the episodes of his newest Youtube show “ Just A Dash” in one sitting. Here’s a larger than life dude, tatted up to the neck, wearing a too-tight Bertha shirt, screaming a high-pitched song at the camera about chopping onions. I was introduced to Matty through Instagram when a guy I follow, who sells vintage Grateful Dead shirts, posted a video of Matty cooking in a shirt that he had sold him. That is, until I met my new friend Matty, and I took his advice over everyone else’s and started to f’ing COOK. I never was interested in actually cooking. Or like I was indulging in some la-di-dah version of a romantic night with Emily. I’ve watched cooking shows before and followed recipes before, but it always felt like I was just visiting. At least I found some hope, and it took a crazy dude with head-to-toe tattoos and a rat tail to convince me. Oh, what sad creatures we are.īut there’s hope. Is this a guy thing? Are we getting placated into thinking we’re good at something we’re not? Are you all tricking us into thinking that our creations are good and unique even though every other dude makes this exact thing and wants to be thanked for reinventing spaghetti sauce? I have a feeling that’s the case. But I then, and get this, I added meat! And you’ll never guess what else! I added some garlic powder! And this is what really sets it apart- I added, ready? I added… onions!” And that’s what I thought cooking was. “You should try my marinara! It’s Prego, sure. 99 cent ingredients that you can make last a week. I’ve tried “cooking” before in my life, but it was more like the college version of cooking where you pat yourself on the back for getting creative with. Emily told me I’d like cooking, but it wasn’t until this beautiful man (below), my new best imaginary friend, Matty Matheson, told me, that I actually started doing it. Why? Is it a trust thing? Is an ownership thing? A spite thing? Whatever it is, it’s annoying, I’ve been told. She told me I’d like Armchair Expert, but it wasn’t ’til Vulture told me I should listen that I put on my headphones and was like “shhh, I’m trying to listen to my new friends Dax and Monica.” There are tons of these examples. She told me to watch Veronica Mara, I said “uh a teenage girl detective show?”, but then my buddy Dirks said “it’s actually really smart,” so I gave it a whirl. Our friend Paul said I’d like Paul Auster, I told him yes. Wait before we go on here is a video of what you can expect from this post:Įxamples: She said I’d like Paul Auster, I told her no. Let me know if I’m alone on this one: I will take the advice of a specific friend over someone else’s advice, even when that bit of advice is THE EXACT SAME BIT OF ADVICE! I don’t know why I do it, I don’t know what goes into my decision making, but for some reason I will blow off someone’s recommendation (let’s say Emily’s for instance) but heed the exact same recommendation from a different source. I’m aware of it and I’m working on it, but it’s a hard habit to break. It’s something that bugs Emily so much that it’s caused some big fights through the years.
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